Ludacris is clearly in line to be named “Wordsmith of the Millennium”. Most don’t know about this secretive and oft-coveted award. A small cabal of limerick steeped monks deep in the heart of Ethiopia work non-stop reading every single written word ever taken down or performed and ranking it among all the others. Everything from condom wrappers to you and your first girlfriend’s break up note are ranked by their overall worth and creativity. Then once a millennia the monks emerge from their adobe huts crafted out of OED scraps and announce the recipient of the most selective title in literature. The Wordsmith of the Millennium. There is no way to sway the judges, no ability to enhance your chances, not even a way to communicate with the monks being that they only speak a now impossible to decipher amalgamation of every spoken language to exist now or ever. Last millennia’s winner was Oscar Wilde for his overall collection of plays and absinthe ramblings with an honorable mention going to Ludwig Kietzmann for his astounding work in the his GDC Quest Quiz series (not aided by absinthe).

Now no one really runs for the WotM award but you can sometimes see a potential bid for the title. The front runner in my mind was Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend. That was until I heard Ludacris’ Norwegian-exclusive Bonus track Press the Start Button from his new album Theater of the Mind. The video is just two repeating images, an irrelevant factoid since as you know all of the Monks of the Word are blind. The lyrics are what matter. After the break I have a line by line breakdown for you to peruse/enjoy.

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